Zombie Apocalypse! 6 Warriors Explain How We Can Pack, Prepare and Survive

The zombie apocalypse is coming and you are extremely unprepared!

It’s time to gear up and get your things in order, so we have talked with 5 experienced warriors and asked them to share their best advice for the coming first.

Read on and learn from their best tips and tricks, so you can be prepared to fight the zombies (all 5 warriors have spent years preparing, so they know what they are talking about!).

I’m a strong female warrior of African-Irish decent with an army of raw fed dogs by my side. I never step out of the door without a pair of skinny jeans, a graphic t-shirt, faux army boots, and my Louisville Slugger.

I joined the zombie fight when one of those creatures dared to step onto my fast property, scratch the side of my Ford Escape with a hangnail, drop a nose on my porch, and smudge my windows with decayed gook – the dogs went nuts, interrupting my beauty sleep. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since this damn war started!

Favorite weapon? Louisville Slugger with Spikes and Nails

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

The best weapons are a keen sense of self-preservation, my bat, and my pack of dogs. I avoid the fight as much as possible by staying indoors; thank heavens Internet and Cable TV are still active. However, sometimes I need to venture out because we and my dogs gotta eat. Outfitting my Escape with a front that mows over zombies that dare to get in my way as I drive to the local grocery store was a good move. Despite my hatred of guns, a lightweight assault rifle comes in handy when I need to pick up milk. And the dogs love a little snack before dinnertime.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

My emergency backpack contains my Better Than Sex mascara, Lip Injection Extreme, loads of venison jerky, a bag of freeze-dried raw, several Monster Braided Bully sticks, and a ton of light-weight bullets laced with poison, silver throwing stars, and a few Marvel comics. I’m new to the zombie war. This sucks.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

Top tips for others is to surround yourself with man’s best friend. My pack of dogs has grown large and strong, protecting me and our home effectively. I feed them the meat of my enemies along with a balanced raw diet of venison, bison, and rabbit – you know, whatever I can catch or I find on sale at the local grocery store (yeah, it’s still open) on my rare ventures out. And, surprise surprise, some of the zombies aren’t mindless monsters. Find the ones who can still reason, give them a steady diet of blood, and you’ll earn their loyalty. Ultimately, my best advice is to avoid my property – my pack is hungry.

I’m a travel writer for Tortuga Backpacks, and I write about DIYing your way into adventure on my site LeftyScissors so I’m used to packing everything I need to survive in a carry on bag. I’ve also read a lot of dystopian fiction, and I’ve had a lot of weird jobs so I feel like my wide skill set could come in handy.

I also once made a knife. Sure, it was a knife making class, and I lost it within hours, but still. It looked sweet while I had it.

Oh, and I have an ipod. Like, an old school ipod. So that’s a solid value add for any zombie bunker I end up in. Battery life for days.

Favorite weapon? Lightsaber. I wanted to say “sword,” but since we’re in a world with zombies, I choose lightsaber. Suck it, Lucas. Barring sweet fantasy laser weapons, a regular sword works too. Honestly though, the best “weapons” against zombies are patience, water, and distance. Gimme a castle on an island in Nova Scotia with a well and I’m all set.

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

Again, a lightsaber would be sweet, and learning the bow and arrow works for the long term.. Fire would be sweet…but that doesn’t really mean anything. I guess I’d snag a gun, hope that it worked, and practice when I could.

The armor kind of depends on what kind of zombie plague we’re dealing with. If it’s insanely virulent—like 28 days later—you gotta go full on police riot gear. Helmet. Sneeze guard etc. If they’re slow shitty zombies, speed is king. Lightweight body armor—wrist guards, shin guards, gloves, and a lightweight chest plate/shoulder pads.

I was the captain of the track team in high school and I can climb pretty well (rock climber), so that’s gotta be helpful, because the best skill in a zombie fight is getting the eff away from a zombie fight. Run. Find water. Team up with some people that aren’t going to rape or murder you so you can get some sleep every now and then, and stay away from zombies. That’s how you fight zombies.

If I had nothing prepared, I’d instantly fill up my bathtub with water. Fashion some kind of club, protect my hands, neck, and eyes, and try to team up with some neighbors to get the heck out after the first 48 hours of absolute nonsense happened.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

Water sanitation powder/pills or one of those life straws. Can’t stress how important fresh water is. A small hatchet is ideal for survival, fighting those darn zombies, and warding off rival scavengers. Plus, bonus, you don’t have to use all your energy swinging a friggin halberd around every time. A hatchet is more than serviceable and portable as all heck.

I’d also bring some kind of noise based distraction. A wind up bell or alarm clock (with a delay), fireworks, something I can set as a decoy to draw zombies in while I make my speedy getaway. And my ipod. Those things have battery life for days.

I’d probably go with a good roll top dry bag with shoulder straps. Gotta be able to ford rivers (zombies aren’t great swimmers) without getting all your crap wet. 35L dry bag would be ideal. Lightweight enough to keep you on the move, but still big enough for the essentials.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

Team up. Find water. Get a reusable weapon. Stay away from zombies. Odds are in a real apocalypse—fiction or otherwise—the odds are against you and no amount of preparation is going to save you. It’s all “right place, right time.” You could have the best bunker on earth, but if you’re visiting your sister in LA, you’re screwed.

Live you life, make friends, and be eternally grateful for the life you have, because if a zombie apocalypse ever does go down, nothing is going to keep you safe. Except for a lightsaber. Forget everything I said if you can build a lightsaber.

I’m the editor of alternative lifestyle site Mookychick.co.uk and I definitely think I fit the scavenger role in the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Favorite weapon? Crowbar – or fishing net for one-time use.

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

Armour: Realistically, my survival kit would make me look like a reject from Escape from New York. Motorcycle leathers, sports helmet and arm/knee pads. Plenty of protection, because my past martial arts training is too dojo-specific to effectively guarantee my longterm survival in the real world. Sure, I’d lose some mobility with all that protection, but Hell’s Angels can still swagger around and leap over bar stools, can’t they? In a pinch I’d ditch the arm/knee pads and keep the helmet and leathers.

In terms of weapons, I’d rather go for something silent that can be used at range – like a crossbow bolt. But even the slowest stumblers can surprise you, so you need a melee weapon that never runs out of ammunition. Baseball bats are nice and long, and not nearly as heavy as crowbars – but they’re less easy to conceal, more likely to be stolen by other survivors and used against you. A crowbar has a reassuring weight to ensure you can do some targeted damage. Pick the right backpack and you can secure it to your travel kit and use it for accessing hiding places and vehicles, too.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

I’d go for a 40 litre waterproof rucksack. It’s designed to spread the weight evenly across your spine. It may seem heavy at first, but if you survive the first few weeks of the apocalypse you’ll be yomping at speed across the terrain in no time. Lack of sustenance and poor resources will be your enemy as much as zombies, so you’ve got to carry what you need. Even if you’re bugging in (staying put in a siege scenario) not bugging out, make sure you can carry your home on your back in case of emergency.

Two things I’d definitely pack are:

A life straw. This is a cheap and incredible means of drinking unsanitised water. Get one now, future zombie apocalypse warriors.

A foil blanket. Keep the cold out or the rays off your back, depending on the weather. Pack several of these to wrap yourself up warm at night and give to other survivors. You can spread it out to catch rainwater, too.

You don’t need a toothbrush. Caring for teeth is important when dentistry is a thing of the past, but you can find a suitable twig and chew it until the end resembles a chimney sweep’s brush. Voila. Toothbrush.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

There are so many pros and cons to bugging in and bugging out. My natural instincts are nesting ones, so I’d suggest gathering a community to go hole up in a safer place. If you’re London-based, the Tower of London is extremely well-fortified (though lacking in resources, so bring your own and offer to source more for those who need it). Once in a community safe place, I’d be willing to scout in small teams of some or none to bring back information and resources.

My top tips for other survivors? It will be hard, but try to see strangers as potential friends, not enemies. Aim to keep civilisation going with barter, not violent pillage. This is going to be hard enough as it is.

In addition to holding an MFA in fiction from the University of Arizona, I write about books for such places as Bustle, Lit Hub, and Electric Literature. I’ve written about post-apocalyptic authors such as Margaret Atwood, Claire Vaye Watkins, Colson Whitehead, and Kelly Link, and my own apocalyptic stories have appeared widely. As the former managing editor of Fairy Tale Review, I have an intimate knowledge of catastrophe in the fairy tale tradition.

Favorite weapon? Camoflage

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

I’m conflict averse, so I’ll be looking for ways to AVOID zombies as much as possible rather than combat them. My combat skills are stealth and seclusion. I plan to head for a mountainous retreat off the beaten path.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

This may not seem practical, but I have several books on survival that I’d like to include. One on natural healing methods, one on becoming self-sustainable, and one on growing your own food. I’d also bring any seeds I have around the house. I have only my hiking backpack, so it’ll have to do.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

I highly recommend picking up a map of local roads and trails. This could prove useful in a lot of situations, not just a zombie apocalypse. My close family members and I also have a set rendezvous point in case of emergency. Though I’ve never gotten around to preparing a “bug-out bag” in advance, I do keep a list of items to include in this bag by my nightstand just in case.

I’m a writer at ManCrates.com, one of the industry leaders in anti-zombie product development.

Favorite weapon? There’s nothing duct tape can’t fix. The imminent zombie apocalypse is no exception.

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

Look, zombies rarely give you a heads up they’ve developed an insatiable craving for human flesh.

It’s usually one moment, you’re sipping punch at your brother-in-law’s housewarming party, and the next you’re impaling the undead with a new mixing spoon from Williams-Sonoma and wishing you’d asked for that gift receipt after all.

Of course, it’s a great idea to keep one of our Zombie Annihilation Crates in your trunk, but if you left yours at home, just get creative with whatever supplies you have on hand. Surviving the zombie uprising’s all about improvisation. So I guess improv classes? Yeah, I recommend improv classes.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

Plastic cutlery and toilet paper. I mean, yeah, we’re a rag-tag group of unlikely survivors, but we’re not savages.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

  • Find the higher ground, zombies aren’t great climbers, and they always skip leg day.
  • Work together to coordinate an attack. Sure, zombies have the greater numbers, but we have Marcus from accounting and he’s got KILLER Google Calendar skills.
  • Pick off stragglers. Every zombie mob has a weak link, he’ll be the one gnawing on his own ankles. Poison them.

Kevin Callan is a Canadian canoe enthusiast, media personality, and author of sixteen books, including the bestselling The Happy Camper and A Paddler’s Guide To series. For more than 25 years, Kevin has spoken and given keynote presentations at major canoe and wilderness events across North America. Callan is also a frequent guest on Canadian radio and television, field editor and columnist for Explore, and Paddling Magazine. He also runs the popular Youtube channel KCHappyCamper.

Favorite weapon? Logic…and a baseball bat.

How would you prepare for zombie combat?

I’d find a piece of wilderness to become my own and become a hermit. If the zombies found me I’d build a wall – not a Trump wall – a mini fortress of pine logs, something like an old Hudson Bay post. At least if they found they’re way in, I would have spent time building something that looked really cool.

My main combat skill would be a comfort I have being part of my wilderness surroundings – something most of us have lost. If I haven’t prepared any weapons then I’d simply make them out of my wild surroundings – or just run way and built another wilderness post somewhere else. I wouldn’t run from a bear, but I’d run from a zombie.

What would you pack in your emergency bag besides the common stuff everybody pack?

I’d definitely choose a waterproof backpack – something from Outdoor Research; equipped with good quality zippers and straps. I’d pack a big bottle of water purification tablets and a water filter. An SOL bivy bag would be an awesome addition to give extra warmth and a first-aid kit (Adventure Medical Kit makes the best).

Books to read on the run would be nice. Daniel Quinn’s Ishmael, Edward Abbey’s Desert Solitaire, John Muir’s A Thousand Mile Walk to the Gulf and Kenneth Brown’s The Starship and the Canoe. My personal pick is Sigurd Olson’s The Lonely Land.

What are your top tips for other survivors?

Stay away from the crowds. The zombies will work harder at finding the “sheep” rather than the “lone wolf.” My favourite purchases would be a solar charger, flint to make fire, layers of merino wool, as much toilet paper that I can carry, and John Denver’s Greatest Hits download.

Best advice is to leave home. Escape into the wilderness – it’s a nicer place to die.

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